The Trolley Problem
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The Trolley Problem
The Standard Trolley Problem.
The trolley problem is a thought experiment in ethics. The general form of the problem is this: There is a runaway trolley barreling down the railway tracks. Ahead, on the tracks, there are five people tied up and unable to move. The trolley is headed straight for them. You are standing some distance off in the train yard, next to a lever. If you pull this lever, the trolley will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is one person on the side track. You have two options: (1) Do nothing, and the trolley kills the five people on the main track. (2) Pull the lever, diverting the trolley onto the side track where it will kill one person. Which is the correct choice?
The Fat Man Trolley Problem
The Fat Man Trolley Problem.
As before, a trolley is hurtling down a track towards five people. You are on a bridge under which it will pass, and you can stop it by putting something very heavy in front of it. As it happens, there is a very fat man next to you – your only way to stop the trolley is to push him over the bridge and onto the track, killing him to save five. Should you proceed?
Ship of Theseus Trolley Problem
Ship of Theseus Trolley Problem.
If you do not pull the lever, one person will crushed to death instantly. If you do pull the level, the trolley will divert into a thousand-mile stretch of track with one person tied down at the end of it. If as the trolley rolls down this thousand-mile track, a crew systematically switches out every piece of the original trolley with a replacement part, did the trolley which you diverted kill the man?
The Human Problem
The Human Problem.
There is a runaway Human barreling down the railway tracks. Ahead, on the tracks, there are five Trolleys tied up and unable to move. The Human is headed straight for them. You are a trolley and are standing some distance off in the Human yard, next to a lever. If you pull this lever, the Human will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is one Trolley on the side track. You have two options: (1) Do nothing, and the Human kills the five Trolleys on the main track. (2) Pull the lever, diverting the Human onto the side track where it will kill one Trolley. Which is the correct choice?
The Artificial Intelligence Problem / Terminator
The Artificial Intelligence Problem / Terminator.
You have been replaced by a fully sentient robot you have designed. Would you still be held morally responsible for the outcome of the situation, irrespective of what that outcome is?
The Dude Problem
The Dude Problem.
You are the dude in red. You don't know any of the other dudes, nor how they think. If you pull the lever, you'll throw the other dudes into a trolley problem. If you don't, you'll set the dead count to five and nothing more. What do you do?
The Quantum Trolley Problem
The Quantum Trolley Problem.
If you do not pull the lever, the train will stay on track C. If you do pull the lever, the train will be diverted to either track A, or track B. Until you observe the train, you will not know the effect of pulling the lever and thus it is said to be in superposition.
The Joker Problem
The Joker Problem.
Wat would be more ethical? Killing one person in front of five people before they die, or killing five people in front of one person before his/her death? It's the last thing they will see. Is pain of one seen by many comparable to death of many seen by one?
The Kantian Trolley Problem
The Kantian Trolley Problem.
The trolley is going to kill five people tied to the track. You are also tied to another track, but you have one arm free and you are able to reach a lever that will deviate the trolley, killing you instead. You don't have time to untie yourself and get off the track. Is it your moral duty to pull the lever?
Get your track on problem
Get your track on problem.
There is nothing you can do to save the people. However, the lever you stand next to controls the music from the boombox attached to the trolley. If you pull it to your left, it plays All-Star by Smash Mouth. But if you pull it to your right, it plays a random anime song. You can only pull it once, and if you don't pull, it defaults to All-Star. You cannot kill yourself.
Brain-in-a-vat Trolley Problem
Brain-in-a-vat Trolley Problem.
You've been forced to choose between (a) a brain hooked to a super-duper holy f*cking computer with a programme that simulates a person tied down to a railtrack and (b) a single person. The computer can perfectly receive inputs from the outside world and simulate the brain recreating every single experience, including terrible pain and death. Would you privilege the human organism instead of this sentient brain-machine system?
The Chicken Trolley Problem
The Chicken Trolley Problem.
You are the one in the red. If both of you do nothing, they trolleys will collide and kill five people. If both pull the lever, only four people will be killed, and also the trolleys stay whole. However, should you pull and the other one does nothing, his trolley will not only kill the five people, but will also run over you. You cannot communicate with the other person. What do you do? (You can't move out of the way.)
The Horrible Marxist Trolley Problem
The Horrible Marxist Trolley Problem.
A trolley is hurling along the tracks towards your comrades. You can save them but the means of production will be destroyed. What do you do?
The r/me_irl Trolley Problem
The r/me_irl Trolley Problem.
The trolley is heading towards B. If you pull the lever it will swtich to track A, but it will also not hit you. What do you do?
Hedonist's Trolley Problem
Hedonist's Trolley Problem.
The trolley is heading towards B. If you pull the lever, it will switch to A, but it won't do the totally sick loop-da-loop.
The Harambe Trolley Problem
The Harambe Trolley Problem.
What would you do?
The Trolley is a lie
The Trolley is a lie.
Isaac Asimov's Trolley Problem
Isaac Asimov's Trolley Problem.
Hardest Trolley Problem
Hardest Trolley Problem.
No idea...
No idea...
Oh dear...
Oh dear...
The 'this has gone a little out of hand' trolley problem
The 'this has gone a little out of hand' trolley problem.

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